Then at night I led worship for our Jr High Ministry for the first time since the middle of December. It was fun. The kids were pumped up – maybe a little too pumped up at the beginning – but I felt like they were getting it during the second set. We rocked out. It was great to do that after so long a break from worship leading. I must say that when I was a youth pastor I would have thought it was super cool to have an Executive Pastor who came and rocked out leading worship for Junior Highers.

I was recently asked by Dale Hedges to be on the board of Project Hangout. It’s a pretty awesome ministry that Dale and Ryan Zeulner are leading. They originated with wanting to create a venue where teenagers can have a good time in a safe environment where they also have a chance to get connected with a lifestyle mentor.

They are focusing now on the Lifestyle Mentoring. Ryan is going around and talking to churches to recruit mentors. Then the mentors get a kid from their church that they have a shared interest with – surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding, art, guitar, shopping, scrapbooking, music, sports, etc. Then they get that kid to ask their non-Christian friends to go hang-out and do whatever fun activity it is they enjoy. Then they begin a relationship, love the kid, and can talk about Jesus.

So I’m on the board of this ministry now and it’s pretty awesome. Please consider giving to this ministry at Project Hangout.

Dear Parents of Teens,

It has been a sacred privilege to serve as the Pastor of Student Ministries for the last six years here at Calvary Church. I have loved working with you and your students. I am now in the role of Executive Pastor of Ministry which means that I oversee many of the ministries of Calvary Church from Children’s to Adults. I will also be working directly with our Men’s Ministry and still preaching in the Elevation service. Josh Simpson is now our Junior High Pastor and our Pastor of Student Ministries. He will do an incredible job providing vision, direction, and organization to this ministry.
So after 15 years in youth ministry I have a few things that I have always wanted to tell parents. Some are encouraging and some are challenging. These are things I have seen and learned along the way. I hope that you will listen to them and see how they can help you in your difficult responsibility of parenting your teen. Let’s count down my Top 10 Last Words to Parents of Teens!

10. Listen to your kids. Seriously listen. Stop talking and listen. Try to not react or respond in big ways – even facial expressions. They need to know that they can keep telling you the important events of their life, both good and bad.

9. Love them to the point of embarrassment. They won’t like it in the moment. They will squirm and be embarrassed. They will love it deep down and they will remember it for a lifetime.

8. Take computers out of bedrooms and any other private place. Do it now. Stop reading this article and go take them out…seriously, now. It’s just not smart to put temptations right in your kid’s face. I would take out televisions too. And don’t think that if it’s not connected to the internet that it’s safe. Do you really want them up all night playing video games? Also, they are smarter than you. It’s probably connected to the internet through your neighbor’s wi-fi or something like that. Go, now.

7. Take your kid’s small group leader to coffee and get to know them. This person is spending tons of time talking to your kid about spiritual things and giving their views and opinions on all sorts of things. Don’t you think you should know who that person is? Yeah, we screen people, but so should you.

6. Encourage your small group leader to do extra things with your kid and give them the resources to do so. Small group leaders are normal people who are busy. They want to serve, but they are going to get busy and end up doing the minimum requirements of just Sunday mornings. A phone call, email, or letter from you will go a long way encouraging them to spend more time with your kid and help them know what your child needs. Give them gift cards to restaurants, bowling, Boomers, coffee, or things like that to help them go have fun and model the Christian life to your students. More is usually “caught” by kids than what is “taught.”

5. Don’t put sports first in your kid’s life. If you want your kids to not grow spiritually, then have them commit their entire lives to a sport that will take them out of church on Sundays and Wednesdays and show them that the priority for you is the sport and not their spiritual growth. They will probably never play the sport in an organized way after they are 18, but their spiritual growth could be stunted long-term. Seriously, what is more important?

4. Affirm your youth pastors. They don’t hear it very often. They hear complaints and opinions but not a ton of affirmation. Send them cards, emails, and nice phone calls. And wouldn’t you rather open a card with a nice gift card inside?

3. Encourage your kids to live in a dorm their freshman year of college, if possible. This one is a little bit more subjective and different for some than others. But I just think that they will grow in the ways they need to become a real adult in a college dorm that is somewhat contained and supervised, but it isn’t your house. It will be hard and this can be at a Christian college if you are concerned about the crazy college life, but they need to experience the autonomy. Also, if they go to a secular school, help them get connected with the Campus Crusade or Intervarsity leader at their college. This helped me a ton when I was at UCSB my freshman year.

2. Don’t defend your kids to teachers, small group leaders, and pastors. Just listen to them. They are trying to help your kid. They want to see them grow – not as much as you – but they do. I have never understood why parents fight back and disagree when we point out something going on in their kid’s life.

DRUM ROLL…………..

1. Make sure your kids see your spiritual life. Let them see you reading the Bible in the living room. Let them see you praying or carrying a list of prayer requests. Let them see you sign-up for retreats or Bible studies because you value that. Let them see you spend time in solitude with the Lord or fast or practice other spiritual disciplines. When they see you put God first, they will remember it when the time comes.

Thanks again. I encourage you to email me if you have any questions about this article. But if you don’t like something in Student Ministries, email Josh now ☺

Pretty busy and eventful day. I’m tired.

I moved up my computer, phone, and my main office supplies today. I got myself situated where I can work from there while getting the rest of my stuff (mostly books) moved up over the next week. Josh Simpson, the guy that gets my old office, wants me to hurry up since his square footage will double with his move.

I am kind of sappy right now over this whole thing. My eyes were getting watery as I was walking with the cart full of my stuff up to my new office. I really have loved my role and the people I work with. It will be weird to not be down there.

I know that the Student Ministries staff is throwing me a “surprise” lunch tomorrow. I’m really excited for that. It’s right up my love language alley.

I’m very much looking forward to making a positive impact of change for our church in the weeks, months, and years to come.

This is a huge change for me. I will be overseeing the majority of the ministries of Calvary Church including having a level of oversight of the school and preschool. We have something like 150 employees in the church, school, and preschool. So this is a big responsibility. I feel like this is the kind of position that God has created me for. It’s going to be a challenge with preaching still in our Elevation service about 15 times per year, giving some direct oversight to Mens Ministry, and overseeing Children’s, Students, Young Adults, Outreach, Assimilation, Counseling, Recovery, Small Groups, Adult Ed, Seniors, and some other ministries.

I also can recognize that I am on the younger side for a position like this. But I know that’s part of why I am in this position – to bring a fresh and new approach to ministry at Calvary Church. Please pray for me and for a ton of other changes taking place at Calvary.

One of the biggest aspects of this change for me is that I won’t be a “Youth Pastor” anymore. My identity (for better or for worse) has been pretty tied into being a youth pastor. It’s odd to be on the other side. I think I will be grieving that for a little while.

Then we rocked out and led worship. Here is a classic Jr High worship moment.

We played a few really loud songs with a ton of energy. The third one was My Glorious and at the end we dropped all the instruments out and we backed off the microphones and all the kids are singing the awesome chorus, “God is bigger than the air I breathe, the world we’ll leave, and God will save the day and all will say, My Glorious.” In the middle of that sweet moment we had been working towards, the Jr High tech helper accidentally hits the play button on the CD player and the Rocky theme song, “Eye of the Tiger,” starts playing real loud throughout the whole room. Let’s just say that it broke the mood but it’s still something I love about Jr High.